Just Think

Reverse Cycle Logic

"If I am not proud of my stupidity, there's no reason for me to be embarrased by my success."

If you think about the above statement deeply enough, you'll see that it actually makes sense ... important sense.

Joy to all beings

Pratistha

Et tu Brutus

When we were "karmis" we based our stupid, pride ridden false-ego on our success and achievements within the material spheres.

Now that we've become "devotees" we base our stupid, pride ridden false-ego upon our success and achievements within the realm of sadhana and bhajan.

Some of us even rise to the level of sanyassi without relenquishing the claim that our selfish ego has on us.

Somehow, I would feel so much more fortunate than any proud sanyassi if I could become even just a little bit humble, even if my sadhana and bhajan still wasn't the best. I would love to do this but my stupid, foolish attraction to my own pratistha always gets in the way.

That's the nature of karmic life, I guess. You do what you can and if you're stupid enough, you feel proud about it.

Joy to all beings

A Humble Offering

In Praise of Srila Gour Govinda Swami

Please accept my humble obesiances to the dust that worships the lotus feet of Sri Guru, who is empowered by the sweetness and mercy of Krsna Himself.

mukham karoti vacalam pangam langhayate girim
yat-krpa tam aham vande sri gurum dina tarine

I offer my respectful obesiances to my Spiritual Master, the deliverer of the fallen souls, whose mercy turns the dumb into eloquent speakers and enables the lame to cross mountains.

dharmah projjhita-kaitavo 'tra paramo nirmatsaranam satam
vedyam vastavam atra vastu sivadam tapa-trayonmulanam
srimad-bhagavate maha-muni-krte kim va parair isvarah
sadyo hrdy avarudhyate 'tra krtibhih susrusubhis tat-ksanat

Completely rejecting all religious activities which are materially motivated, this Bhagavata Purana propounds the highest truth, which is understandable by those devotees who are fully pure in heart. The highest truth is reality distinguished from illusion for the welfare of all. Such truth uproots the threefold miseries. This beautiful Bhagavatam, compiled by the great sage Vyasadeva [in his maturity], is sufficient in itself for God realization. What is the need of any other scripture? As soon as one attentively and submissively hears the message of Bhagavatam, by this culture of knowledge the Supreme Lord is established within his heart.

Srimad Bhagavatam 1.1.2

By reciting the above Srimad Bhagavatam verse Srila Gour Govinda Swami instructed us daily to avoid kaitava dharma, cheating dharma. This kaitava dharma, imagining that we lead an existence separate from our Lord Sri Krsna, lies at the heart of our continued suffering.

It's so difficult for me to honestly glorify sadhu guru using mere words because despite the best of my intentions, since I am, by my own stupid choice, a very degraded person. It always seems like I am trying to glorify myself instead, yet despite my frailties and inconsistencies, I would like to offer you a short story relating a personal encounter of the closest kind.

I think that many devotees don't realise the value of sadhu sangha. Sadhu sangha can give you access to the touchstone of Harinama, plus sadhu sangha can save you from countless lifetimes of suffering. If you say that quickly it doesn't sound all that impressive BUT think about just how long we spend here suffering in this miserable, material world.

I once heard a description of a very long time, that went like this: imagine a solid steel ball, the size of a football, suspended in space. Once every 10,000 years a dove flies past that ball and gently brushes the ball with its wing. When that steel ball is completely worn away you would still be suffering in the material world if you hadn't received sadhu sangha (and you still will be if you don't take it seriously). It is impossible to fully realise the debt we owe to Srila Gurudeva.

Sadhu sangha is the cure for your material disease, yet sadhu is not only your savior but also your dearmost, intimate friend.

Different sadhus have different, personal mixes of methods to instruct their disciples. Srila Gour Govinda Swami uses a highly personal approach. During the lion's share of the time I got to spend in Bhubaneswar I found that very often, except for kartik and festivals, there were not a lot of devotees present during the morning Bhagavatam classes. Many were overseas, many doing seva, some out on book distribution sankirtana, etc. It was not uncommon to find a group of a mere 30 to 40 devotees (if that) sitting on the cool marble, drinking nectar during Srila Gour Govinda Swami's Bhagavatam class. This almost unbelievable situation is personal kindness and mercy to the nth degree.

Now Srila Gour Govinda Swami loved to preach to crowds of thousands and he often did this, but for a few fortunate souls, so often we had him to ourselves, a situation which permitted us to form very personal bonds with our beloved Guru, so much so that it allowed him to show us things, rather than simply to speak about them.

One example of this occured in 1994 when Srila Gour Govinda Swami was speaking on the topic of Krsna being our maintainer and protector. He pointed out that Krsna will carry what we lack. He asked me if I believed that Krsna was my maintainer and protector. I thought about it and decided that since Krsna was the supreme controller of everything that surely He was the one who actualised everything that was happening to me, as well as to everyone else, so I replied in the affirmative, BUT since I was a mere degraded person I added the provisional query of "But why should Krsna look after me?"

Aware of what I was asking, Srila Gour Govinda Swami replied to me that Krsna would look after me if I was surrendered, obliquely indicating that karma "looks after" those who are not surrendered.

Then he said, "Try an experiment for a few days, Mr Terry. Each day don't take much prasadam, just a little rice and dhall, and maybe one or two THIN capatis, you try an experiment and just see if Krsna will maintain you."

OK, so I am the eternal sleazebag and I must admit that I felt a bit insecure about the whole affair so I kept the bargain but only just, eating as much of a "little rice and dhall and a couple of thin capatis" as possible. To be honest about it, I found living for a long stretch of time in Bhubaneswar was a lot more austere than I was used to. If it weren't for Srila Gour Govinda Swami's daily dose of nectar, life in the ashram at Bhubaneswar would have been quite intolerable. Nevertheless, I surrendered, and "adhered" to his urging.

Now, it's obvious that I wasn't the only one in the ashram who did it materially tough. Each day when the mahaprasadam remnants were being distributed there was always a huge croud of somewhat desperate devotees with their plates and hands outstretched clamouring to receive mahaprasadam. On some rare occasions I was fortunate enough to receive a handful. On the first of the three experiment days, I strolled past the mahaprasadam distribution outlet and, lo and behold, instead of a huge crowd, there was NOBODY. The devotee dishing out mahaprasadam virtually begging me to get my plate and please take some. Thus on day one I was fed a huge plate of Krsna's mahaprasadam which sustained both body and soul, ever so amply.

Next day, I was on my way back to the ashram after completing my tulasi seva and the usual crowd of "four hundred million" devotees was back in attendance, rioting to be first to receive mahaprasadam.

Certain devotees were given mahaprasadam daily, they lived on Krsna's mahaprasadam; the pujaris were among these devotees. As I entered the ashram and made a bee-line to sit on my bed, my dear friend and role model, Isa Avatara prabhu, who was a pujari came over to me and told me that he had a fever, that he didn't feel well and that he wanted me to please accept the gift of his prasadam for that day. I offered my condolences and thanked him profusely. Day two, a huge tiffin, the size of a cake tin, filled with mahaprasadam filled the belly and kept the "worms" at bay whilst letting me know that I had nothing to worry about.

Day three ... lunchtime ... no mahaprasadam today. About three pm I decided to put on tilaka etc and wander down the front near Srila Gour Govinda's hut, in case I could catch the daily darshan. All at once Madan Mohana prabhu, the temple commander called to me, "Come prabhu, house programme, come come!" That day, along with a group of devotees I went to a local devotee's home, it was well attended by his neighbours and friends and Srila Gour Govinda Swami spoke sweet, nectarean hari katha and afterwards we were all treated to a veritable feast by our host; sweet rice, the works.

By this time I could see that not only would Krsna maintain me if I surrendered to Him, but that He was likely to maintain me far better than I could ever maintain myself.

This is just one example of Srila Gour Govinda Swami's very effective, intimate, personal way of teaching us to surrender to Sri Krsna's loving control, by not only telling the devotees, but actually demonstrating that Krsna is in full control and that we have got nothing to worry about. This example also showed me that Srila Gurudeva was very aware of how much my senses meant to me as a "shelter from distress."

Another thing that I would like to point out in glorification of the relationship between Sri Guru and disciple is that Guru's order is not only discipline, but that it is the only way forward. Without following Sri Guru's order, you achieve next to nothing. Follow his orders and you can achieve anything at all. With Sri Guru bringing up the rear guard, whatever you want to do to serve Krsna can be manifest by the mercy and glory of Sri Guru and Sri Gauranga, and no other way.

Looking closer into the matter, all of this also helped me realise a little of how closely we are related to Sri Sri Guru and Gauranga in terms of acintya-bedabeda-tattva, almost but not quite one. A very close, heart to heart relationship, if only we care to actualise it. Srila Gour Govinda Swami by his personal attention to our relationship has showed me that Sri Guru is not only my spiritual teacher, but also my dear friend who lives in my evil heart at all times. Such a caring personality, tolerates the nonsense of my day to day life and accepts me as I am, warts and all, lovingly teaching me both by his own example and by various other methods, that I am not only Krsna's servant but that I can be perfectly happy being so.

Sri Guru and Sri Krsna are so very personal, so very beautiful and so very loving. Why are you wasting time attached to this useless suffering? Not only is your "hair on fire", your whole existence is on fire, run to sad guru, he is the only hope. If a degraded, low life person such as myself can receive sweet mercy from Srila Gurudeva, just imagine what you can achieve. The trick is not in trying to get into Srila Gurudeva's close circle, but to allow Srila Gurudeva to get close to you.

There are no words that can describe our good fortune that Srila Gurudeva has cracked open the material world and allowed the spiritual light to shine into the darkness of our hearts. He has given us the amazing gift of sringara-rasa that flows directly from the heart of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu Who is Sri Sri Radha Krsna combined; in time we will taste this rasa, more and more.

The only way to properly glorify such mercy as given by Sri Guru is to distribute this nectar to others. Join in with harinama, singing sweet kirtana with your brothers and sisters, to feed all souls the nourishment required to become strong devotees so that they too seek the sweetness of sadhu sangha.

This is the method of glorifying Sri Guru and all of the Gaudiya sampradaya: by surrender to the mission of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.

All glories to Sri Sri Guru and Gauranga!

All glories to Srila Gour Govinda Swami my very merciful siksha guru and my very, very dear friend. I miss you so much, yet you are always here in my heart by your own free will. I long for the day when, once again, I may drown in the liquid depths of your beautiful eyes, over and over, again and again.

Your servant, disciple, and dare I say, friend
A worthless dog
tarunkrsnadas

Poles Apart

Evil Wretch Servant of Maya

I am among the most wretched of persons in existence yet I have chosen to reach out for the highest possible achievement available to living souls. I am so extremely unqualified. How will I ever reach my goal?

There must be an enormous distance between our poles of being. I humbly beg for the mercy of Sri Sri Radha Krishna. You are my only hope.

I take shelter of the mood of the dust that worships the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu for I feel that I am mortally wounded by the evil blade of my own weakness of heart.

Joy to all beings

Flechette Wounds

Effective Target Servicing 100-1

I am aware that the recent TV series Underbelly, which depicted a brief and partial history of some of the worst of Australian organised crime, held a certain fascination for more than one devotee. Whether instigated by a "return to one's roots" or merely a delving into the darker side of life, evil, when viewed from the safety and comfort of one's armchair represents a figuritive "Darth Vader" calling us to "Come over to the dark side."

Just witness the rows of bookshelves inhabited by books on such topics as witchcraft and sorcery, warfare, crime, conspiracy theory and more, even if merely Harry Potter, Top Gun, Murder She Wrote, etc. These topics attract the minds of just about every John Citizen and his family. Top, blockbuster movies and bestsellers are almost always, if not always, about conflict and (hopefully) its resolution (usually involving violence, often extreme violence).

Shocking murders like those committed by the Charles Manson "family", mass "suicides" such as the Jonestown massacre, terrorist bombings, and the like exhibit a honey-pot siren call to the average person encased in the cotton wool of their fully insured, western "middle class", mediocre, non-eventful lifestyle.

Unimaginable Horror

Which brings me to the flechette.

A flechette is a pointed steel projectile, with a vaned tail for stable flight. The name comes from French fléchette, "little arrow" or "dart". These are used in warfare as secondary projectiles within a fired military shell. A delay fuse ignites a charge, exploding the nose of the already fired shell, subsequently propelling forward numerous (up to 8000) flechettes in a cone shaped trajectory. One can well imagine that these flechette projectiles inflict considerable, terrible and painful injury to living targets as the thin shaft is designed to bend into a hook like shape upon impact and often the flute blades snap off on impact to form a secondary projectile causing further injury.

Flechettes vary in size and form from 250mm in length up to a very large version of the flechette, utilised as the business end of armour piercing, anti-tank weaponry. Grooved flechettes have been known to be utilised for the purpose of carrying a payload of a VX nerve agent or other chemical weaponry. VX nerve agent is considered to be a weapon of mass destruction.

A less effective, smaller flechette weapon, for use at close range, has been devised to be fired from a small guage shotgun; these were designed to be carried by air marshalls in the fight against aircraft hijacking. I am unaware whether these have ever been used in the field.

Whilst it is not difficult to imagine even worse weapons of war than the flechette, which incidently have been discontinued in favour of a more effective, sheet metal version that disperses over a wider range causing greater casualties than the mere flechette, the flechette remains typical of the developed sophistication of modern weapons of combat.

Victims of Weaponry

Whilst I could have spoken about various modern weapons, the reason I opt to write about the flechette is that it recently came to my attention that flechettes, deployed via Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) launchers, were used against CIVILIAN populations, this century, in Darfur.

So what has this got to do with devotees who are the only persons ever likely to read this blog, assuming anyone besides the author ever reads it? Bear with me please.

Official estimates of the numbers killed in recent conflicts in Darfur vary from 250,000 to 450,000 persons, many of them raped and burned alive in a flagrant disregard for human rights. Although two leaders of the government orchestrated assault on civilian populations in Darfur, have been officially charged to stand trial at the Hague for crimes of genocide, it is not clear to me that genocide was the actual INTENT of their crimes, despite the genocidal outcome.

Upon closer inspection, it appears that aparthied was their original intention, in as much as one ethnic group utilised monetary, social and political power to wrest control of natural resources from another ethnic group, considered to be inferior persons by their oppressors. It's a relatively small step to escalate from one to the other since hate by one group of the other is omnipresent in acts of genocide, as is envy.

The crime of apartheid is defined by the 2002 Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court as inhumane acts of a character similar to other crimes against humanity "committed in the context of an institutionalized regime of systematic oppression and domination by one racial group over any other racial group or groups and committed with the intention of maintaining that regime."

Material Mentality

Since we are in the material world, that is, we are NOT in the spiritual world, it behooves us to consider that we have been put here for a good reason. Karma does not make mistakes. Attitudes such as considering one group to be less than equal, are at the heart of such evil violence as causing untold pain to other beings via such horrible weapons as flechettes, which were commonly used in the Vietnam war and elsewhere.

We, as budding devotees, whose goal is to avoid the miseries of the material world, would be wise to consider how easily we could be reabsorbed into the world of conlfict and combat if we already readily exhibit those lower world "qualities". Please consider that maya has already infiltrated the "stronghold" of your heart if you are not ready to adopt the exact opposite of superiority, and willingly accept an attitude of service and humility to your brothers and sisters, regardless of who they may be.

Flechettes, VX nerve agent, rocket launchers, and worse, may be a reality in your life sooner than you think. Krsna will definitely protect the humble, but those who see themselves as more deserving than any other person, regardless of their actions, may well have to defend themselves.

Bear in mind that neither the Congolese, the Chinese, the Jews, the Cambodians, the Albanians and Kosavars of Kosovo, the Rwandans, nor the Darfurians (Sudanese) thought that it would happen to them.

Violent Night Holy Night

Violence escalates as the kali yuga deepens day by day. Caitanya Mahaprabhu has created a golden age within the kali yuga. During this very lifetime you get to choose where you prefer to be. Choose wisely.

What's your target?

Joy to all beings

Ki Jaya

Put on a Happy Face

When I see local devotees in the street, etc, so often they look really sad :(

I vote that we forget everything that ever happened and start living as spirit souls ie loving every other spirit soul and Sri Sri Radha Radhe-Ramana too.

Happiness is your birthright, Krsna loves you, Radha loves you, Gauranga Mahaprabhu gave you the Holy Name to chant.

Where exactly is the problem? Radiate joy in all directions, forget all your petty fears and don't worry if someone doesn't like YOU, what's important is that YOU LOVE THEM, all the time.

Joy to all beings

Check out this kid below ... far out.